My Life Goals
Lainey Whitehead
Goals are a very important part of life as they not only have the ability to change one’s future, they can also change the world. Goals stem from passion which creates the fire that drives one to better themselves as an individual, and society as a whole. Each individual has a different idea of what a better society would look like and how to achieve it. This vision is formed through one’s unique experiences, hardships, and advantages. From one of the millions of thoughts the brain has every day, an idea is formulated, a goal is set, and peoples lives are changed. I have many goals that I am working towards, which will not only greatly change my life, but the lives of many.
For the last 9 years, since I was 11, I have been faced with the challenge of living with a neurotological brain disorder, which turned chronic in 2014. This condition is called Persistent Postural Perceptual Dizziness (3PD) that causes me to experience intense constant dizziness.
There is little awareness within the mainstream medical community and obtaining a diagnosis was a long and scary journey. This disorder has helped shape my goals, greatly reduced my physical quality of life, and has allowed me to have a greater appreciation for each achievement along the way.
I was unable to attend high school in the traditional sense as walking was difficult and I had to lie down in the back of the classrooms only able to listen to the lesson, desperate to continue my education in any way possible. Eventually the school and my parents, although extremely supportive, came to the conclusion I could no longer physically attend due to safety reasons. Being a goal oriented person, I had to learn the hard way that goals are not always achieved exactly how one imagines. I decided that this setback would not hault my education and, with the help of my family and school administration, found that I could have in-home instruction at my own pace, one course at a time. Continuing my education, at any rate, was better than stopping. It has taken me six years and a lot of determination and hard work, but I am very proud to say that I am now a high school graduate, with an average of 92% and managed to maintain honour roll every year. I am very pleased to say I have been accepted into the Engineering Program at the University of Guelph.
My achievements over the last four years may not stand out initially as compared to other students. The typical definition of achievement is “something accomplished, especially by superior ability, special effort, great courage” (Dictionary.com). Maintaining honour roll throughout high school was a true achievement because having a chronic brain disorder made learning very difficult. Through my relentless perseverance and determination I stayed true to my values of choosing what is right over what is easy. I could have chosen lighter courses and given up my dream of going to university for engineering and eventually making a difference in the medical field, however I was steadfast in my commitment to myself to be the best I can be. It may not seem like being on the honour roll requires courage, but the bravest thing I’ve ever done is to get up everyday and try to learn. I am proud of how I continued to push myself to my physical limits to learn as much as possible as each and every setback only fuelled my determination to graduate and reach my goals.
In-between my schooling sessions, exposure therapy, and recovering, I volunteered at King City Public School in an autism and down-syndrome classroom helping them to learn, but they in turn, have also taught me a lot.
When I see the boys do something new or different in a way that challenges them, such as a new syllable, a short hug or trying a new puzzle; I am excited as these are all real accomplishments and are to be celebrated. For example one of the boys rarely offers physical affection but will come over and sit on my lap as soon as I arrive. These boys take a long time to build trust and relationships making such a display of affection truly remarkable. Working in a classroom of five boys each with their own personality, likes, dislikes, frustrations, and joys has taught me how to look at people individually and connect with them as they are in that moment.
Although I am not on the autism spectrum and I can verbally express myself, my connection with these boys runs deeper than most will ever know. Due to the dizziness I walk with a cane, have needed to lie down on the ground everywhere from hospital hallways to city streets, and like the boys, I too have been looked at differently, judged, and even underestimated. I know how important celebrating “small” achievements are and that it is essential to slow down and take the time to see each individual as a person with their own strengths and purpose.
I also volunteered in a grade 1-2 classroom at King City Public School as well. In this class I helped the children learn in a more traditional sense, helping further their understanding of subjects such as math and science. When asked, I was proud to say that I was working towards going to university for Biomedical Engineering. I was also excited to explain to the young girls in the class that I was going into a heavy math and science field and sincerely hope that I have encouraged them to enter a STEM program as well.
I have voluntarily tutored many students from grades 1-11 in math, science, geography, music, and English. It fills me with pride to see them suddenly understand the material and then get excited about what they are learning. It is an amazing feeling to literally see their confidence grow and watch their attitude towards school change.
Much of the volunteer work I have done has been in my home town however, I did volunteer with an inner-city youth club for a short time before it was canceled. I would attend when needed, joining as a role model figure. This group provided a safe environment for the children and a way to make friends through community clean up projects.
During my high school career before my condition reappeared, I was a mentor to the younger students. To be a mentor requires a teacher nomination and after further interviewing, acceptance into the program. I am very honoured to have been a mentor as we not only helped the younger students on their first day of grade nine and also took them on a three day team building excursion. The mentors are role models for the younger students, demonstrating kindness and leadership. Mentors are responsible for befriending the younger students, building a sense of trust and offering support and help, but also being responsible for handling any disagreements or inappropriate behaviour. Mentorship has taught me a great deal about leadership and the importance of a positive influence on younger students. Being a mentor was a role that lasted not only for those days at camp but throughout my entire high school career and has taught me invaluable lessons that will last a lifetime.
There have been many experiences that have lead me towards becoming a Biomedical Engineer, however the most impactful has been my unexpected experience with 3PD. This obstacle has fuelled my determination to go into the medical field and to be part of cutting edge research breakthroughs, drawing heavily from my first hand in depth knowledge that I have gained from living with this disorder, and my intrinsic aptitude for math and the sciences.
My inspiration has, in a large part, come from the interaction I have had with the top vestibular specialists in the world including the Head of Neurology at Sick Kids Hospital, pioneers in the field of neurotologic research at the Mayo Clinic, and the specialists at the Centre for Advanced Hearing and Balance Testing Clinic out of the Toronto General Hospital. The teams of neuroscientists and biomedical engineers that work with these doctors to advance research in this area has further motivated and energized me to achieve my goal.
Diagnosing 3PD is difficult as there is no specific test for it, however there are many tests for other vestibular issues which must be administered. The assorted tests results are compiled and analyzed resulting in the diagnosis of 3PD. These tests are extreme and uncomfortable, with the intent to make the dizziness worse by overstimulating the vestibular system through various means. For example; physically shaking the head while reading an eye chart, being placed in complete darkness on a mechanical chair spinning in one direction and then the other while hooked up to electrodes and laser sensors monitoring the eyes and other responses. The worst test, in my opinion, is the Caloric Reflex Test. It is such a horrendous assessment that can be used on comatose patients to test for brain activity. The procedure consists of injecting hot and then cold water in each ear resulting in extreme dizziness with the reaction being studied by the physicians. It is my mission, along with curing 3PD, to make the diagnostic testing far less dreadful.
Based on personal experience, interaction with the medical teams and educational interests, my long term goal is to be a leader on the team that creates the necessary breakthroughs that ideally lead to less nefarious diagnostic testing, increased awareness which will lead to a faster diagnosis, more efficient treatment and an eventual cure for vestibular disorders.
Due to my academic ability and my sincere interest in the field, I have had significant encouragement and motivation from the specialists I have met to seriously continue to peruse my goals. My personal experience in dealing with a debilitating vestibular disorder and understanding what the tests are like from a patient’s perspective, will provide invaluable incite that I will share, leading to a uniquely beneficial element of research.
I am currently working closely with the student accessibility services at the University of Guelph and am encouraged by their willingness to help me integrate into the Engineering Program and campus life. The doctors believe that one day 3PD will lift and when it does, I will be well on my way to accomplishing my dream.
Through my perseverance and strict adherence to the prescribed medical protocol consisting of exposure therapy, prescription medication and vestibular rehabilitation I am finally seeing progress and look forward to attending Guelph in the fall.
Essay written by: Lainey Whitehead